Why?

This is the post excerpt.

IMG_4671“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”-Ghandi  This is my favorite quote and it has been for most of my adult life.

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I doing this?”  Yep, about 2 years ago I asked myself that question, and continued to ask it A.TON.MORE . I had just finished my Masters degree, and thought I knew what my next move would be in my career. But then, I had this new little family at home that I felt tugging on my heart.  I knew I couldn’t live the life I wanted to live if we continued on auto pilot everyday. As my career kept demanding more of me, I was becoming even more passionate to be a better wife, mom, and a better person overall. I felt like in the two and a half years of getting my advanced degree and starting a family, I’d lost my true self.  Then one day about six months ago, BOOM! It hit me over the head, I couldn’t keep living this way, but I had this  perception of myself that I thought I had to keep doing what I’d always been doing. Work fulltime, be a wife and mom, do it ALL with a big ole smile on my face. For what? It was a self-inflicted pressure to be perfect. I grew up loathing the word perfect (I’ll save that for another post), because at my core I never believed in perfect, but at forty-something I found myself trying to live up to it. Six months ago, I vowed to let it go. I call myself a recovering perfectionist because I know the tendencies are still in there, and while I don’t bury them, I do consciously and intentionally make small changes everyday to find more joy, and work on being the change I wish to see.